Olive I wonder if it is a #2 personality trait! DD1 here was always concerned about my approval so she was pretty compliant. Although I do remember 3 being more challenging than 2. My DD2 sounds very similiar - she has always been very sure of what she wants and dedicated to getting her own way.
When things get violent and out of control we try to use a thinking space - she is supposed to stand and think about what has happened that is not ok - realistically at this stage I am standing with her talking her through it. So what she did that is not ok, reinforcing what it is she needs to do next time and then why x) not a) or b) was not an appropriate choice/action etc.
We are currently battling about bedtime/dinner and bathing as a common theme. Then there are clothes/shoes/sitting in the car seat.....actually the list goes on.
Here DD1 has just started school and there has been a lot of focus on her new things and routine. TBH I think DD2 is feeling a little left out and that has not helped. We are trying not to sweat the small stuff and let her be herself as much as is safe etc.
We have a few simple house 'rules'.
- When the issue is a safety thing no means no
- No one missed out (for anything - talking/taking turns etc)
I am sure it will pass soon! I'd love any tips you have too.....